Designer Dogs

About 3 years ago my husband and oldest son were at a gas station and a local redneck was there with dog kennels.  She had Mastiff/Pit Bull mix puppies which is incredibly frightening in and of itself and then off to the side was what we ultimately named Lee Lee.  Just one dog.  "Yes, she's $100!"  "Well, what is she?"  "She's a Pomchi, can't you tell?"  "Um, no"
 
Phone call comes in to me asking is it okay to buy this dog for 100 clams.  "Well, can you talk her down to $75.00?"  "Kim, this is a designer dog, a Pomchi, I don't think so."  What exactly is a Pomchi?  I look it up, absolutely adorable combination of a Pomeranian and a Chihuahua.  I leave it up to him.

And so we have Lee Lee.  About the ugliest mother fucking dog I've ever seen.  She couldn't have weighed more than a half an ounce when we got her.  Constantly getting lost.  You could set her down in the half bath downstairs,wash your hands, turn around and she'd have disappeared in a matter of seconds.  "Where the fuck did she go?"  "Is that her?"  "No, that's a piece of lint."

She grew and grew and then it was time to take her to the vet.  Doctor took one look at her and said, "What the fuck is that?"  "Why it's a Pomchi, of course."  "That thing is neither Pom nor Chi."  "Not really sure what it is, maybe long haired dapple dachshund."  Okay.

We continued to find most people asking odd questions about what is that riding in our car, walking next to us or jumping on our couch.  One night I am really taking a good look at it and I come to a realization ... "She's part hyena" I announce.  Everyone agrees and we look up wild African dogs and there she is.

The Somalian Field Spaniel.  FINALLY!  We know what breed she is.  What a relief.  How incredibly frustrating knowing you spent $100 on something that might be part cat, part squirrel.  Yes, a Somalian Field Spaniel.  Looks just like one.  We are convinced and so we proceed to answer the question with, "Why it's a Somalian Field Spaniel of course."  "Oh, okay.  I thought so."  Dumb Ass!

There's no such thing.  We made it up.  We still don't know what she is.  We have speculated .... hamster/capuchin monkey mix.  Oh, Oh ....   I got it!  A red crested pochard/Persian hobbit.  No, that's not it either.  I can promise you one thing, Darwin is rolling over in his grave.

And so I wonder ... Labradoodle?  Really?  Who does that?!