I will get back to the life coaches at some point, but for now I have to get something else off my chest. I want to know when they are going to come out with a time machine. Seriously, we have sent people to the moon, we can replace body parts to include a heart and we can microwave a chicken in 7 minutes, what's the problem here people. FOCUS!
Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I seem to move from one embarrassing moment to the next and on top of that I certainly have folks that I would like to erase from existence. So I propose we stop spending billions of dollars saving the planet and lets put our time and energy into some sort of time reversal. With this prospect we could most certainly save the planet and we get the added benefit of punching that one person dead in the face that we so graciously allowed to slip by the first time.
Now, everyone will be implanted with a microchip, GPS enabled of course, at birth. I know, I know ... there has to be rules. I am also proposing some very simple ones that would apply to all time travel.
1. Each human gets 5 tickets to ride. Round trip of course. Although feel free to stay where ever the hell you like. I can promise you ... many of us will not be missed in our current contributions to society.
2. You can use the tickets on or after your 35th birthday, but under no circumstances before. Don't even ask. I figure by that time you've accumulated a large enough list of embarrassing shit you'd like to correct. You're also old enough to know that these tickets should be used wisely and not to travel back to yesterday so you can beat your brother home from the bus stop and grab the last Twinkie from the pantry before he gets to it.
3. No getting previous lottery ticket winning numbers or putting the fix in on a football game. That would just get downright confusing and frankly gambling is for enjoyment. Stop trying to take the fun out of losing a shit load of money.
3. No getting previous lottery ticket winning numbers or putting the fix in on a football game. That would just get downright confusing and frankly gambling is for enjoyment. Stop trying to take the fun out of losing a shit load of money.
4. There will be no government committee to determine when you can travel. It is solely at your discretion when you use your tickets. If you feel like you want to use yours to stop a war from starting or to save an animal from extinction, have at it. I myself with be using my tickets to secure my OWN chapter in the history books which would be inventing the time machine. Yeah ... wrap your brain around that one fuckers.
Other than those four rules it's a free for all. So I suggest everybody own a gun, use some common sense and get ready for indescribable mayhem.
If you attempt in any way to try and become King ... or Queen of the World your chip will be activated and you will disintegrate and be erased from human existence. I don't know exactly how any of this will work, but it's gonna be AWESOME! Who Does That?!
Other than those four rules it's a free for all. So I suggest everybody own a gun, use some common sense and get ready for indescribable mayhem.
If you attempt in any way to try and become King ... or Queen of the World your chip will be activated and you will disintegrate and be erased from human existence. I don't know exactly how any of this will work, but it's gonna be AWESOME! Who Does That?!
