Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I hate being sick!

So, I am sick.  Again!  Got it from my kids who got it from other kids.  Not that big of a shock considering that in order for kids to miss a day of school due to illness they must submit to an Open MRI,  bring a stool sample in to the school nurse, pick up four days worth of future school work and produce a recent background check.  Parents have gotten to the point where they are not only afraid to keep their kids at home when they are sick, but know that if they do the principal and his posse will be at their house within the hour with more backup than was reported at the Branch Davidian Massacre to haul them in for a water boarding session to find out what's really wrong.  "The fucking kid has a fever!  I swear!"

What dumb ass group of idiots have ruined this for everyone?  My oldest son has straight A's every year.  In gifted classes, always has his homework done, is clean (most mornings anyway), has lunch money, we go to the activities and parent teacher conferences, but if the tardy bell rings and he's not in his seat I hear choppers flying over my house with someone on a megaphone calling out, "We know you're in there!"  What are people doing or not doing to make this such an issue and why are all of us being punished for the sins of a few?

I'm pissed about it.  The older child I can understand somewhat, but I also have a kindergartner.  "Why wasn't your son in school today?"  "Oh, I'm sorry, did he miss the whole day on the color orange?  Trust me he'll be caught up by tomorrow.  I'll ask him to show me something orange, he will and I'll praise him, okay?"  This is not brain surgery people, it's really quite simple.  If you can pass the test than you can move on.

I understand that education is important, so let's put the importance on education not regulating how much money I need to spend at the local urgent care where I have to go to produce a bogus doctors excuse from the most recent Doogie Howser wannabe nurse practitioner.  "Yes, your son has a fever Mrs. Young."  "No, shit!  A fever?  Are you sure?  I hear they came out with these new fangled contraptions that actually allow you to test the body temperature of a human at home."  "Whoa!  Slow down, what might they call these strange and scary objects of medical madness?"  "A thermometer.  Who knew?"

Give me a fucking break people.  And the irony of it all is they tell you not to allow your child back at school until he has been fever free for 24 hours.  "So even if he is feeling better, don't bring him here.  You'll need to either lie about his condition or go to jail for breaking truancy laws.  Yeah, nobody said life was fair."

Speaking of sick people, I did read a story about a guy who was intentionally infecting people with the HIV virus just for scuzz.  So word to the wise, water boarding can come in handy when you need to find out if someone is lying about what lovers contamination they may or may not be carrying.  Who Does That?!

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