Vampires...WTF?

Is it creepy that I think all those vampire kids are hot?  I am aware that calling any vampire hot is in and of itself creepy, but when did being a vampire become sexy?  Not just the guys, but the girls too. I know it wasn't always that way.  I mean ... Bela-Lugosi? Johnathan Frid? Grandpa Munster? These guys couldn't be sexy if they had as much plastic surgery as Heidi Montag and bathed in Bradley Cooper's saliva.  Who, by the way, IS the sexiest man alive according to People magazine. How is that possible?  He's not even a fucking vampire.  That's BULLSHIT.

Until now, the closest they came to hot vampires was David Bowie in The Hunger.  The Lost Boys?  Fuck the Lost Boys, that was not a movie about vampires.  That was a movie introducing Jason Patrick to the general public because something that gorgeous should, without question, be offered for public consumption and not asked to walk and speak and act.  I mean, only if he wants to.  The only way to accomplish that was, yes, a vampire movie.  He was able to glide in and out of rooms, or fly if he wants, smoking hot, breathing heavy, slightly ... and I mean slightly sweating and staring deep into the camera and straight into some peri-menopausal, somewhat out of shape, newly bitter divorce', who is also slightly sweating.

And this phenomenon looks like it has entered a point of no return because it has spilled into these kids personal lives and our blood thirsty public has become more delusional than Charles Manson wearing an extra Fentanyl patch.  Who would not want to BE a hot vampire DATING a hot vampire, I don't care how old you are, but they are chasing these two ... uhhhhhh .... Robin Peterson and Christian Stewart around like a pack of wild she wolves.  And this vampire slut had her picture taken hugging her older and married director friend, fuck buddy and everyone is shocked.  Don't you dumb asses watch Cheaters?  This happens ALL the fucking time.  But don't get your cape in a wad ... I'm sure he's a vampire too.

I have seen these folks who think it's really progressive to have their teeth shaped and crowned to mimic what a real vampire's fangs would look like.  Ummmm ... how do you explain that one to your grandchildren? Not a good idea moron. Just ask Avril Lavigne.  Who Does That?!