Hypocrites

I am pissed off at another very widely hated group.  Hypocrites.  Nobody ever thinks they're one, but there always seem to be more around than Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's sorry lame attempts at movie making.

Your average hypocrite starts out with what is seemingly a very rational conversation in regards to even the most mundane subject and turns themselves into a self centered asshole quicker than people can tune into Sarah Palin's new show to see if the next teenage daughter is going to fornicate out of wedlock too.  Let's be realistic here people ... these girls live in Alaska!  I'll say it again ... Alaska!  What the hell else is there to do.  Build a pipeline, lay some pipe ... what's the difference?  And people sit back with their teenage daughter who is 7 months pregnant by the neighbor kid who dropped out of school to advance his career to night manager at The Circle K in order to support our new arrival to the welfare system and his $100 a week "legal herb" habit and say "How dare she run for vice president.  She's a moron and I know what a moron looks like.  I see it in the mirror each time I pull out my bumpits and rave hairspray to don my feathered coif every morning."

And let's move on to the Christians.  Look here average Christian person reading my blog ...  I'm not talking about you right now so sit down.  I'm talking about the ones who come to your door to ask if you have a fucking millennium to discuss how much more shit they know about Jesus than you do.  And god forbid they get my father's chosen response of "I'm an atheist."  "Well, sir, you are going to HELL!!!!!!!"  "That's it?  That's all you got?  Hell?"  Name me one atheist who is scared of hell?  They don't believe in hell that's the WHOLE concept of being atheist.  Know your audience a little better than, John McEnroe did when he thought that anyone listening to his boring ass talk show gave a shit about his liberal rantings.  Now, here comes the hypocrite part ... what happened to spreading gods word, being a disciple, making sure every inch of the planet earth knows about what a wonderful concept Christianity is.  One false move and these people will beat you to death with the crosses they're carrying.

And don't hide back there nodding your head progressives, you know who you are.  "I accept everyone."  Yeah,  until they stand on the corner with a fake bloody baby doll and a sign that says, "Save the unborn babies."  You can't get your window rolled down fast enough to tell them that their life's work of ending abortion is flawed because frankly it's none of their business.  Well, since when does that mean shit to you people?  Neither is the fact that I may own a firearm for protection.  I have lots of things in my house that can kill someone and certainly things that would work just as good if not better than a gun, but for some reason if you want to own a gun these wackjobs think you're in a gang. I'm gonna start a gang and call it "I don't dial 911." For our initiation you have to go to the Wal Mart order up the Hot Pink Rifle and ask "Does that come with a copy of The Gun Control Act of 1968? You know, just so I can see who signed it and all."

So before you open your mouth to judge somebody ask yourself ... "Can I kick their ass if this gets ugly?" Who Does That?!