Speaking of DVR's

I consider myself a pretty intelligent person. I am schooled in the ways of technology,  I attended the Recording Workshop, I sat through a two hour seminar on how they recorded the hook in the Tubes classic, "She's A Beauty" by spitting a lougie in a metal trash can and recording it with a Neumann U87, but using the DVR, Blue Ray player with WIFI or operating the boys Nintendo DS's sends me into orbit.

Just recently we moved to back to South Carolina and my husband bought me all new appliances.  The new refrigerator has a USB port on it so you can download pictures on the small TV screen just above the ice and water station.  Is this necessary?  Maybe?  Maybe not.  What's the protocol for the photos that should be posted in the 3x5 screen on the fridge?  Can we do the "Vacation/parent bathroom rendezvous while we have a minute, and I mean a minute away from the kids" slide show.  Or maybe the "I'll never drink again neighborhood block party where the swingers from down the street stick their tongues in everyone's ear in each and every photo."  Not appropriate my counterculturalistic friends.  Either way I can't operate the damn thing.  I get impatient waiting on the ice to queue up so I can have my choosen liquid refreshment let alone adjusting any setting to make that a possibility.

Another thing I just can't seem to understand is why we have not incorporated a universal debit card reader.  I understand the manufacturers are trying to get their share of the american pie by coming out with a new and better version of these already antiquated and prehistoric forms of payment, but can't we just have SOME commonality to this.  I always find myself wishing I had my Uncle Ed, a NASA aeronautical engineer and former president of Lockhead Corporation standing next to me to explain the difference between the one at the local Stop and Shit and the one I'm trying to use to buy the latest issue of Fuck Me Running at the Airport Rip Off Mart.

I know technology is needed.  I want the latest and most up to date technology in the operating room, flying my plane, downloading the latest Shakira song and manufacturing my sex toys, but let's slow it down just a touch.  Let me learn how to use the Fuck-O-Lator 500 before you come out with the 600.  That's all I ask.

Although I am on the fence about how many hours computer nerds need to be putting in at Apple, I want the person who put the "Your A Total Dipshit For Clicking On This Link" virus on my computer so he could get his rocks off to know ... I'm coming for you.  Who does that?!